have you ever had a moment where you felt completely overwhelmed by the all of internal battles you so badly wanted to face?? thats where i am right now. i asked God to show me what i needed to work on to grow spiritually and OH how He did!! haha. im scared, but also weirdly excited to grow into the set-apart woman God made me to be.
im starting to realize that my mothers idea of maturity (being responsible with money, time and behavior) is not the same as mine. i dont think that just because you have good credit, you think before you act and take care of what needs to be done means that you are a mature adult, ready to take on lifes challenges. i think being mature involves more than just that. a mature person is balanced not because they have to be to be successful, but because they choose to be whether or not "success" comes. its about understanding, accepting and loving the person that God made you to be. its when you realize what really drives your actions, what you value in yourself and others, what makes you good and bad, where you miss the mark and why... when you stop allowing deeper issues founded in darkness to rule your life... when you realize your full potential doesnt involve your past or what others think of you today, but discovering what God sees in you and embracing that. in order to do that, i must first confront those deeper issues by confronting the darkness with the light of truth. i need to be honest about what is keeping me from being a fulfilled person. i need to be open to the pain that comes with letting go of the sick sense of security that came from darkness. i need to be open to the work He can do in my heart even though it hurts. i need to stop running. ive always been very conscience of my deeper issues and how they affect my choices, but ive never been brave enough to do anything to stop the cycle of hurt. im ready to stop running and start growing now. THANK GOD!
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wow girl, PRAISE GOD. i've been going through that same sort of revelation all fall quarter. learning to love myself but also accepting that God loves me just the way i am. i'm so encouraged by ur constant urge to pursue the Lord, even when it's hard. i'm right there along side you, even if i'm not physically there. just know you're not alone and i'm here praying for you. because i know it's hard to be just vulnerable.
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